Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Rehab - Day 2

Most importantly before the leg stuff, I had a call from Jane this morning to say that Mr Jordan's secretary had rung. I am booked to go into hospital on Sunday for the first lung operation on Monday. This is brilliant news as it hopefully marks the beginning of the end.  I only saw Mr Jordan on Friday so this is pretty impressive.  The service which I have received from the NHS has been absolutely incredible, I don't think it would have been bettered privately. It just goes to show that when you have a serious, or life threatening problem, the NHS delivers.

Odd inmates

As you know I'm in the Rehabilitation Ward, and if any of you read my posting on the 2nd June headed "Hospital Admission Day Comes" you may recall that I spent one night in here before my first operation in November last year. You may also recall that I made reference to the 'odd inmates'

My reference to 'odd inmates' wasn't a one off.  For some reason this week there are only 3 of us in Rehab, and you've guessed it, I'm in with 2 oddballs. Both of my fellow inmates have verbal diarrhoea, but in different ways.

Inmate No 1 is an overweight (I'm guessing about 25 stone) Welshman with problem shoulders. Is also probably the most negative person I have ever come across, continually moans about his medical condition (most of which is probably self induced due to being overweight) Hates needles, which doesn't help when he has to have blood samples taken regularly and the nurses can't find a vein in his fat arms. He also drones on in a  broad Welsh accent when on his mobile phone which is really annoying. I think he may be in the Welsh Olympic Team for longest telephone calls containing the most drivel. I've heard several times about what he's had done and also what will be done this week, he repeats everything over and over again. He can't sleep at night despite downing copious volumes of sleeping pills, and therefore sits up all night sending emails to people who don't want to receive them.

Inmate No2 is wheelchair bound and has problems with elbows and hands. He does not stop talking !! He knows more about everything than anybody in the world !!  I think he may be a bloody encyclopedia !  He's got opinions on everything and lets us all know about them. I went for a test drive in a new car today and when I got back he told me what car I should be buying and why !! You don't want to buy that car, you want to buy this car !!  he also coughs day and night, blaming the cough on everything except the vast quantity of cigarette's he smokes !

If I make it to Friday it'll be a miracle, so if anybody out has any cyanide pills please send them by post to me c/o The Rehabilitation Ward, The Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital, Stanmore. HA74LP

On the new leg training, it's going well, but really hard. I'll do a more detailed post tomorrow.

ps. Ive just overheard the Welshman repeating his medical and life history to another one of the nurses, and blow me over with a feather, he's 'GAY' and one of his son's is in prison for having sex with an under age girl (13)  If he has sons then he must have been straight at sometime !!

I told you the inmates are ODD !!


  1. I wonder what they think of you David!


  2. That's an interesting one ! In a previos post one of the comments called me "Bonkers" so I'm happy to stick to that.